The Speech-The Speech I never gave

Well I had prepared a 'speech' for my seventhieth Birthday party. That speech would actually take about twenty two minutes to deliver but it was designed to 'connect' up All of the 'dots; in my life. How did all off these p[eople come to be in that room at that time?
The reason I did not 'give' the speech is that at the last minute some one very close to me said "You can not ask me to say that. I cant do it "
Well then I will just say it "
"No No you can say it either. you will make very uncomfortable"
That threw me off completely. How can I connect the 'dots' if I cant even talk about one of the 'dots'?
Well ,later, it came to me to how to handle all of it without making that party uncomfortable but , then and there , I was thrown for a loop.
I am truly sorry that I did not give the 'speech' because so many of the people in that room deserved recognition-respect and 'reward' of sorts.
One example was that a week or so later one women said to me' well I do not understand the term 'Chemo Gang' Who are they and what is the connection."?
Someone just said to me 'Wouldn't be wonderful if you could see Jesus.? Wouldn't you want to see Jesus"?
I said after a little thought. I think I came as close as one can come when I saw all of the Chemo. Gang up on that dance floor dancing together."
The 'Speech' I never gave
"I told all of you - some of you -- at my sixthieth party I would do my best to get to seventy, first, among you. Those of you who were there , then, heard my life story up to that point. Born in Jersey City first among five --A wonderful childhood growing up in a true 'melting pot'. Truly winderful warm memories of all of that-Coal stoves --ice boxes-- new inventions-- television- scooters- roller skates --warm sumnmer nights--warm and wonderful. My friend Dick Pigott siting there growing up a block away from me. WEe did not 'hang out ' together then , so to speak, but we have been 'hanging out for over twenty some odds years since and I consider him a true and dear friend.
Then tradegedy -Father Murdered --Mother lost to cancer and Orphanges days come to the forefront. Nothing positive to say about any of it . How you could you really. ? Brother George and I to one Orphanage Sister to another Brothers 'split' in other directions. A brother that deliverd newspapers all week and then traveled to that orphanage to share with his brothers. Had to take two three bus's to get there in all and any wheater. You can find King Midas and king Solomon and all of their treasures and they do not equal what our Brother gave to us back then. I do not use those words lightly. I come back to Jersey City and there I meet Dolores such a dear Life long Friend and Frank and Arlene and Helen. Helen the mother of my first three children. The mother Bear- the Lioness- the women of wisdom and compassion. No mother better . She raised the brood while I climbed down a series of Corporate Ladders. She and I faced each challange thrown our way. We had no one from whom to seek guidence from so we made the best of what came out way and ' all in all' not so bad. Memories and more-- and smiles for a lifetime. Sadly split-- so sadly split. I often question the why and wherefore of all of that and reflect upon the mistakes I made along my journey. I am sad about the mistakes made , there, but then that road led me to Bonnie and to Shimmeee and Zach.
Philospher Zach once said to me at the age of eight
"Thanks Dad for marrying Mom oherwise there wouldn't be any me !!!. There wouldn't be any SHIMMEE !!!!.,"
Another Mother Bear another lioness another wonderful women filled to the brim with love and compassion and a tender heart that she give to everyone--Let me repeat EVERYONE!!!!.
I doubt there is a finer teacher in America and one only has to ask the community she teaches in. Ask the Principals ask the Teachers she teaches along side of but mnost important ask her kids and their parents. You will see of the truth I speak.
She stood by my side as we fought off Colon Cancer . When she wasn't by my side My sister Judy was-and I stand my sister against ALLL sisters-all sisters I stand her against -I wish everyone had a sister like mine but she belongs to me you will have to find your own . My son Steven he was right there- almost every day-right there. Those of you who have never had the mosfortune to be confined to a hospital bed-- I tell you that just the simple act of getting an ice cube is so incrediably important to the person lying there helpless-- I can not tell you what that means to you. I hope you never get to find out. But there they were 'on the watch' I slept peacfully knowing they were there to protect me
So that is how we got to sixty. When that party ended Bonnie and I, immediately, rushed out to the 'Ailment Store' and purchased a few new ailments. Bonnie says she will die of all my ailments.
Well the doctor said 'This tumor, in your Knee , is malignant and you have a 'terminal disease called Non -Hodgkins Lymphoma along with Amyloidosis also Terminal. . I will have to find where the other tumors ly so I know how to treat this disease. Where to attack it"
Bonnie and Laurie and Rich said to me "You must come to our Prayer Group and let them Pray over you"
You mean where they jump up and down and fall on the flor and speak in 'tounges' "?
'Yes " they said to me
"No thank you . That is too weird for me "
Then I thought Well the Doctor says I cant work anymore. The bible -I think- says where two or more of you are gathered in my name" and --- it's free.
So that is how I came to meet all of those wonderful people over there They are 'part and parcel' of Ed and Sonias Prayer group. Sonia asked me why I came to that group. I told her 'For courage and wisdom and to strenghten my faith."
The Doctor "OK Bill we are going to 'open you up and go searching for other tumors"
I said "Well Doc maybe the tumor in my Knee is the only tumor"?
He smiled and said 'No Bill that is not how it works there are always other tumors."
The Prayer group gathered around me and prayed over me . Yes they jumped up and down and talked very funny and made loud noises on occasion.
'The Doctor said 'Well Bill we cant seem to find any other tumors right now. We know they are there and more tests will find them for us but we cant keep cutting you up in little pieces to find them. In time we will."
I failed a heart exam. They jumped up and down and talked in tounges again. Then I would pass the tests .
The Doctor and I quote "/Bill you are walking around with two terminal diesases and you are so full of energy and enthusiasim . You are a medical marvel"
I laughed
He said "I am not kidding".
I said "Well Doc you know I keep flunking these tests then I go the Prayer group and they Pray over me then I come back and you say I am dong fine. What do you make of that."?
He said "Well keep taking that medicine I am giving you and keep going to that Prayer Group".
I said "Aye Aye Captain."
That prayer group is now in the able hands of Sal and Jan There is Anne and Mayann and Phylsis and Elenaor and Debbie aND BRUCE AND lINDY AND GERRI AND mANNY AND HIS WIFE AND Anna and Sophie and I JUST TELL YOU --YOU CAN TEUST YOUR HEART AND SOUL TO THESE PEOPLE. I MOST SURELY HAVE.
Well then the Guardian Angel of our Group , Maryann, said to me "Bill I know why God put you in this group --so you could tell me all about Chemotherapy and Radiation as she began her fight against Breast Cancer "
I thought "Ok' If that helps but it does not seem like a big enough payback for my life.
I have wathched Allen and Saul and Eric and Bob and Shirley and Dick and Billie and Willie and Clair- and Ed almost all younger than me-pass away and I have asked why not me.?
They were all people who had wonderful positive attitudes and fought so valiantly against the disease that had 'hold' of them. So why not me.?
Because I have this story to tell-to help those people who need to hear it.
Brother George? In the dictionary under the word 'Fight'!!! There is his picture One cancer after another. I tell you true you will be hard pressed to name a Cancer that he has not crossed paths with and has managed to fight it off time after time. A true inspitration to others.
Well he called me and said "I got another one and I want you to come to Chemo. sessions with me "
:George you do not need me. Chemo really doesnt hit you you for a few days after the treatment so you do not need me. You have had this before."
"I want you to come "!!!
Do you see how big he is ? In his younger days he came a hair close to making it to the New York Football Giants-- a hair close !!!!.

I said "OK".
What could you say "?
So I went and I met the Chemo. Gang. Wonderful dear friends and now will be for the rest of my life. Struggling against Chemo. There is not a single good thing to day about Chemo other than it could save your life. When Heather -Dear dear darling Heather and Valerie of whom I say the same and Arlene and Ed.-- We lost Ed-what a truly wonderful man and a truly sorrowful loss. Arlene said He made her happy for their entire lifetime. She was blessed to have him in her life.' What more can you say of someone.?
When they found out that I had earned my stripes with Chemo and Radiation-- well then I was welcomed into their group and together we all fought --well they fought-- I told jokes== they fought this thing, together, for almnost six months and Heather had to do it for a year-the first time was not successful . had to do it again!!!!. . She was distraught so would we all be.
Then Ellen, my friend Matt's Sister, and a 'new' Ann from our Prayer group was added to the 'Gang'.
I said to Maryann/"Maryann I do not know as much about Breast Cancer but you surely do. Can you-will you-- talk to these women that you have never met ?" And now we know why God put Maryann in the prayer group and me too. The remarkab;le wonderful things these women say about Maryann?. Wonderful true earned praise. She gave to them all from her heart and soul.
So this is how all of these people are ' connected' in some way shape or form. For you to come through that door tonight you had to quailfy by having a Heart and Soul two times Big.
The blessings in this room --you that came to share with me this celebration. My brothers and sister-a family that has stood together against all of the odds. We have honored our parents wishes in so doing. Distance and time has not ,us, deterred. Together still. My Children of whom I am so proud Laura My College Professor-Author Artist Mother -Willie working at the job that illness forced me out and away from and he ably took it up-Steven- on a wonderful spitrtuial Journey-Shimmeee/Amanda-well the room just lights up whan she is in it--Zach back from dinner and dance with the Devil and now becoming a shinning beacon of intelligence and talent--The Mother's of these Children of whom I am deeply forever in debt to and to all of you. Truly thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming. Thank you for being in my life.
My cup runnethe over. I tell folks you need a few extra cups to catch what runs over my cup.
From the bottom of my heart
Thank You.