A Christmas tree

This was a very 'rushed' get the christmas tree ,at all costs, today. Get it so Bonnie K.Mccullough can start decorating her tree tonite-Friday the seventh of December in the year of 2007. Normally Bonnie puts the tree up the day after labor day. We have not ,yet, closed the swimming pool for the year but she sends me out to buy a 'live' Christmas tree around that time. Sometimes I have to travel very far to find one at that time of year but this is her wishes and so ???.
Once I hd to travel to Minatoiba to get one. It was very cheap ,though, at that time of year. It did fall off the car several times on way back to the States though.
Anyway because son Zach had to run off top College early today and I have deliver Pizzas to Minatoba tonight -this deed had to be done early and quickly. .
I rushed unto the Tree Lot-not in Minatoba-- I picked up four -five trees and gave them a quick look see'. We were already running out of time. I looked at one twice.
I said to it "You are it pal. You are coming with me. You will like it at the Ponderosa. We have puppies and Dogs and a cat who will try to climb you-she trys every year-- we have lot;s of warmth and smiles and birds and fish. You look a little 'skinny' actually like maybe you shopuld eat a few milkshakes now and then but that maybe looks that way because it is so early in the morning and I am in such a 'panic' rush."
He is standing in the corner now. He definitely needs at least five/six milkshakes. There doesn't seem to be much room to put any ornaments on him. If we put a bowtie on him he woulf look like Icabod Crane and then ,even then, he might fall over from all of the 'weight'.
I wouldn't want him to see what I am saying about him but my gosh--. I have tried ,all of my life, to not judge 'people'on how they look but in this case-looks' are everything. Oh sure he might have been a tree that went to 'Lumber school 'branched' out into the world-saw the forest instead of the trees -maybe even helped 'young saplings' along his way. Now he only wants to 'spread' some holiday happimness BUT he has no branches to spresd.
I am fearful that when Young Bonnie k. sees him he might be the first Christmas tree to go out into the garbage three weeks before Christmas.
well I will do what I can to say something in his defense but I am not sure how much 'Beauty is in the 'eye' of the beholder' can be broguth to play here..
The man did give me some branches that he cut off the bottom of the tree . Maybe I could duct tape them to the tree befrore bonnie gets home. Maybe I could run up there and get alot more of discarded Branches and tape them to the tree. Perhaps if I painted the Duct tape green no one would notice-too badly.?
It doesn't look good at this point.

William of Monmouth